What is a Malay Engagement ceremony | Majlis Bertunang? ~ With Love, Nurul SG

Hi readers!

So you found someone, good for you, and now you are ready for the next stage.

In traditional malay customs, a marriage is viewed as a union between two families, not just two people. So usually it is a whole family affair.

Proposal (meminang)

Before the engagement, the elders from the groom-to-be's family will usually go and meet the bride'-to-be's family to propose (meminang) formally. If the family and bride-to-be accepts, a date for the engagement ceremony is discussed and preparations begins.

Engagement ceremony (Majlis bertunang)

An engagement ceremony is typically a small affair between the elders of the two families. It is to let people know that the groom-to-be and bride-to-be are basically “off the market” and engaged to be married.

On the day of the ceremony, the groom-to-be's family would go to the bride-to-be's home bearing trays of gifts called hantaran. The gifts usually consists of the engagement ring, expected dowry or 'duit tanda' and some food items.

During the ceremony, the engagement ring is placed on the bride-to-be's finger by an elderly lady from the groom-to-be's family (usually the mother). The matter of how long the engagement last, the actual dowry, the potential wedding venue and date is also discussed.

The engagement length varies from a few months to three years. This is mainly to give ample time for the wedding preparations.

The engagement ceremony ends with the exchange of the gifts (hantaran) and with a feast. Traditionally, the groom-to-be does not attend the ceremony but nowadays, some groom-to-be do visit after the ceremony is completed.